The hardest part of medical school for me has not been the amount of material I’ve had to learn. It hasn’t been the fact that no matter how long or how hard I study, I will never know all it. It hasn’t been learning to accept that so many of my classmates are smarter than I am. The hardest part for me has been finding balance.
If I knew that after medical school, or even after residency and fellowship, my life would slow down, then maybe I wouldn’t care about balance. Maybe I would sacrifice everything in order to study all the time and attempt to learn every minute detail in my textbooks. i know that this is not the case, though. I know that once I graduate I will start residency and live with my wonderful future husband who will be my husband. Once I get used to being a wife, I might become a mother. And if there’s one thing that my Mama has taught me about mothering, it’s that it never ends.
Don’t get me wrong. I am incredibly grateful for my education and for my future career. I wouldn’t choose any other career, even if I thought I could fail at nothing. If I could make endless money without working, I would still become a physician. But I also know that if I fail to take time to find joy in other things, to relax recharge and love and be loved, nothing feels good anymore.
I am trying to work things into my medical school schedule now because I know that it will help me in my future when things are even busier. I also know that if I don’t fake the time to enjoy all that is around me here–all of the people and the strange new weather and the Minnesota accent–it will pass me by too fast.